Really US Weekly?

Fifth. Straight. Cover

The new US Weekly hit the stands today and guess who is on the cover?

Jon and Kate.

For the FIFTH STRAIGHT WEEK.

REALLY US WEEKLY?

If you couldn't tell, this irritates me.  You mean to tell me there is NOTHING else going on in the world of celebrity gossip?  You really need to put them on the cover again?  Didn't we all already watch the season premiere of the show and then feel super awkward about it afterwards?  Why are we still talking about these people?  She is mean, he cheated, they are probably getting divorced...let's move on please. 

So seeing as the fine people at US Weekly can't seem to come up with original topics, I've decided to help them out:

1.  Um didn't a little show called American Idol just end?  And if you read the post before this, I've pointed out that there's been a lot of drama surrounding the results of the show and apparently it's not over yet.  Just today, it came out that somehow the voting had possibly been rigged.  So come on US Weekly, do your story on Kris Allen winning, dig up pictures of him and his wife being cute, and cue the small boxes with Pink's angry Twitter and Clay's angry blog post over a five-page spread.

2.  Take this story and turn it into a giant all-out brawl with side-by-side pictures of them on the cover.  You know you can do it.  Please, they don't compete?  Didn't Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas break up, only to have Joe Jonas having lunch with Miley?  US Weekly, you can make something good out of this.  You know you can.  And for the record, Taylor Swift completely dominates Miley Cyrus in all categories.

3.  The Hills.  Lauren is leaving, Kristin is going to be the new Lauren, Audrina is getting sluttier and Stephanie is getting dumber.  Monday is Lauren's last episode ever.  Couldn't you have instead done some kind of chronicle on her time on The Hills and an "interview" about what she's going to do in the future.  Then do a box with Kristin and a small Q&A on why she decided to join and what we can look forward to and all that.

4.  The ever-popular default to celeb moms who have lost a lot of weight and look fabulous.  Melissa Joan Hart apparently just lost 42 pounds.  Or do an opposite and talk about all of the celebs who are preggers right now.  In last week's issue, there was a fun "guess which celeb goes with the pregnant belly game".  Turn that shit into a story! PLUS, since then there has been at least two more people who have announced they're pregnant: supermodel Adriana Lima and Gisele. 

5.  Pick a random celeb and talk about how they're back on track.  Lindsay Lohan finally got a movie.  Eminem's new CD debuted at #1 apparently.  Both great candidates for a cover photo and awesome story about how they're in such a good place in their lives. 

So come on US Weekly. If I can do it, you can do it.  You are seriously making me think about switching to People when my subscription is up this summer.  Don't make me do it.